I’ve never been a fan of the advice that parents need to wake up at some early hour to get time to themselves.
If you love getting up early in the morning, I think that’s amazing. Social media of course isn’t reality, but sometimes I’m inundated with this advice about getting up in the wee hours of the morning to set intentions and do “morning pages”. Don’t get me wrong, the days I’m up first and get to luxuriate in that first sip of coffee or getting something done for myself are wonderful. But doing that every day is not for me, and it shouldn’t be the only way to live an intentional day, week, month or life. I’ve also seen influencers talking about their “Sunday reset” – the idea being that you take an entire day for mindfulness, cleaning, self-care, meal prep and more. Again, this sounds wonderful – and I’d be lying if I said a part of me didn’t sometimes long for a day all to myself to do those things. But that’s just not the reality of this season of life, and that’s okay. I wouldn’t trade the incessant chatter, the constant play invitations, and being the centre of my child’s world for anything.
But, living more intentionally means taking the time to think about how things are going and assessing if that direction is aligned with your vision for your life, for yourself, and for your family. The weekly intention setting planner I’ve put together starts with one page dedicated to reflecting on how the last week went. It gives space to think about and jot down observations on:
- What went well?
- What did I learn?
- What made me happy?
- What was challenging?
- Best moment of the week for me
- Best moment of the week with my children
- What am I grateful for?
- What are my intentions for next week?
Answering these questions honestly is important to making the small changes from week-to-week that will add up over time to create the life you want to live.
But this is all easier said than done. Most people live their lives without really taking time to reflect until something hits them and makes them stop and think that this is not the life they intended. They have a critical illness which forces them to stop and think about their life. Their kids, or partner, or best friend makes a casual statement or observation that takes their breath away and leaves them wondering if that’s really how they’re seen by this person who is so important to them. They try to do something they used to do with ease and struggle through it or simply can’t do it. It’s these realizations that leave us with moments of clarity and – hopefully – inspire change.
By taking back time regularly to check in with yourself though, you can avoid that moment of shock by being clear on your purpose, honest about how you’re showing up in pursuit of it, and course-correct before you find yourself down a road you had no intention of going.
I think the secret key to this moment of reflection and intentionality is to break up the reflection and planning process. Or – really – breaking up anything you are trying to do into more manageable steps. I’ve got more to come on this in a future blog, but for now I’ll talk about my weekly reflection and intention setting routine.
The weekly intention setting planner starts with a reflection before re-centering your intentions and planning how to be in alignment with them. But it can be a big commitment to sit down each week to think back on how the last seven days went. For me, I’ve found it works best if I start this reflection at the end of the busiest part of my week – even if I don’t immediately move into planning and even if the week isn’t technically over.
For me, Monday – Friday is the busiest part of the week. I’ve got work, activities, connections, special adventures with my son, sometimes even playdates and various other commitments all week long. So Friday evening – sometimes as I finish work, but sometimes as I’m relaxing after bedtime – I take space to reflect on how the week went. Your ritual doesn’t have to be elaborate – mine isn’t. I sit down, pull out my fancy pens, and spend a minute or two breathing deep into my belly. I remind myself that it’s okay to let go of the things that have just happened and my “to-do list” of the next things to come can wait for a few minutes. I remind myself of my goals, my values, and my most important goals. And then I start writing. It doesn’t have to be perfect – it doesn’t even have to be complete – if you think of another highlight or another challenge, you can always go back to add to it when you make time to plan the week ahead. If I’m pressed for time, this can all be done in the space of 5 – 7 minutes. And the beautiful thing is, by ending with gratitude and an intention for the next week, I’ve already re-aligned myself to the things that are important.
So, what’s your ritual? Do you light a candle? Go to a special room or coffee shop? Have a special drink? Centre yourself through a meditation or mantra you love?
Edith Carlisle 
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